**Disclaimer: The following post, while meant to be educational and experiential in nature may have trigger words or bring about negative feelings to some who might suffer from such illnesses that I will discuss. I in NO way mean to harm others, and respect any wishes to read no further in this post**
According to the ADAA (Anxiety & Depression Association of America) 40 Million adults in the United States alone have some form of an anxiety disorder. That's 18% of the total population of our nation (While I love kids, this statistic only involves adults, sorry). Only 1/3 of these disorders go on to be treated by mental health and medical professionals. Why is that? According to The Economic Burden of Anxiety Disorders, cost associated with treatment of anxiety disorders and their associated illnesses is about $42 Billion (1/3 of the total "Mental Health Bill alloted for our nation). A vast number of people with mental illness, specifically Anxiety disorders go completely untreated. Statistically speaking, people with an anxiety disorder are three to five times more likely to go to the doctor and six times more likely to be hospitalized for psychiatric disorders than those who don't suffer from anxiety disorders. Anxiety disorders can range and some people suffer from more than one kind of anxiety disorder. Additionally, almost half of the population diagnosed with an anxiety disorder are also at some point diagnosed with depression (and vice versa). Here is a simplified list of the most common anxiety disorders included in these statistics:
- Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
6.8 Million adults (3.1% of U.S. Population) - Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
2.2 million (1%) - Panic Disorder
6 Million (2.7%) - Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
7.7 Million (3.5%) - Social Anxiety Disorder
15 Million (6.8%) - Specific Phobias
19 Million (8.7%)
*Specific Phobias aren't included in the 40 million/18% statistic.
The most common co-occourance of illness with anxiety disorders is depression. But others include: bipolar disorder, eating disorders, headaches, irritable bowel sydrome, sleep disorders, substance abuse, adult ADHD, body dysmorphia, chronic pain, fibromyalgia, and stress.
I made this post not only to educate but to hopefully open some eyes and hearts about what really happens to some people. It's not about "calming down" or "cheering up". Yes, some people do require more help than others be it meds, therapy, exercise, diet, whatever. But in the end we all want the same things: happiness, success and to feel safe and capable. If you know anyone who has anxiety or any sort of mental illness I encourage you to ask questions in a loving way, become an advocate and offer support and safety for them. No matter how much it might not make sense or how hard it is to relate, the person will be forever grateful to have you in their life. On the other hand, those of us will anxiety or other mental illnesses need to be able to let people in and be those shoulders to lean on. I know from experience that I literally can't do it on my own. Coping isn't about curing yourself or even being cured. There unfortunately is no magic pill that can take these feelings away, but there ARE loving and supportive people out there who want nothing but the best for us! If you are feeling alone, please seek out help in some way or talk to someone you trust as much as you can and use them as an advocate to help you get the assitance you need. The sooner, the better.
I hope by this point some of you are still reading! Although that is a lot of information, it is important to note that a very high population of our country is suffering through a specific form of mental illness, which in turn can lead to other mental illnesses. I in know way can speak for those with other disorders, nor will I rank their severity as I have not experienced them. But I DO know that many of these illnesses can start very early in life and follow us into our elderly lives. They can have a major impact on our interactions with other people, our jobs, our education, our well being and living situations. I would like to use this forum to share my own personal experience (to an extent) with all of you as I feel it can be useful to just learn or possibly to relate. I welcome any questions and feedback. I will also be including quotes from willing friends who shared with me. Please keep an open mind and heart while reading and if anxiety disorders are not something you struggle with, try to put yourself in the shoes (or mind) of others. Lastly, please remember there is a difference between being anxious and anxiety. EVERY person feels anxious at some time or another, but not everyone has an actual anxiety disorder or mental illness.
My experience with anxiety didn't "truly" start until I was in college. I say truly because I believe I had the symptoms and experiences of anxiety previously but did not know that's what I was experiencing until I was much older. Of course I am grateful for the diagnosis, but in some ways, ignorance was "bliss". To begin my journey, I will share the process by which I found out about my anxiety.
I began attending Radford University the fall of 2010. Of course, like almost everyone I know, I was so pumped to be in college and on "my own". I had an awesome roommate (shouts out to Jasey Rae if you're reading!) and a great group of friends as I was very involved with my church at the time. I really began to notice strange behavior or feelings when I realized that I would sometimes be extremely out of breath and absolutely dread going to class for what appeared to be no reason. I remember being in lines and not being able to stand still and anticipating my wait because I really felt the need to sit down, and that I continuously would swallow because I felt panicked and nauseous. I would sometimes pace around my dorm room while my roommate was gone and try to decide what to do and would make deals with myself e.g. If you go to this class, then you can skip your last class and come back and relax. or You're just not a morning person, skip your morning class, take a shower, and everything will be better! I also remember cloudy mornings where I literally couldn't fathom the idea of even trying to get out of bed. My eating habits were so up and down, I would eat the most food I possibly could while alone because I knew that my eating wasn't "normal" and it only got worse around people. *Quick note: I know NOW that my anxiety tends to stem around eating, although I do not struggle with any sort of eating disorder, but I will explain that more later* I believe I did a relatively excellent job at hiding these symptoms of what I now know to be anxiety. I made a lot of excuses as to why I didn't want to answer phone calls, go out to meet new people on campus with my church group, always needed my water bottle no matter what, hated being in cars with people I did not trust to drive, take extremely long naps, etc. In hindsight, the signs and symptoms were all yelling in my face, I just had no idea that all these odd behaviors seemed to link. I remember a specific instance where I felt completely fine one morning and had actually succesfully completed a monologue for one of my theater classes and was walking to my next class and all of a sudden was overcome with the feeling that I was having a heart attack and couldn't breathe and that I was literally going to die right that second. What made it worse was that I was in a very public walking area and sat down on a bench breathing so heavily and sobbing, rocking back and forth, and I felt that my behavior was "crazy" and everyone was most likely staring at me. I know now that I was experiencing a panic attack, but I had never had one that bad previously, so I legitimately was not prepared and had no idea what my body was doing. Instead of going to class, I slowly walked to my dorm, shaking the whole way, got in my bed and couldn't sleep or cry or really do anything. I thought I had just escaped death. Funnily enough, I was STARVING after and ate a ton of food once I felt safe enough to put one foot in front of the other. I spent a lot of time on campus alone as I felt I didn't want people to notice this strange behavior.
Fast forward to the summer after my freshman year of college. Eating became more and more difficult for me as I noticed more and more symptoms. I felt that I could take two bites and feel so full that I was going to vomit if I took one more bite. I would try and felt like I was gagging and I had no idea why. I would go for days without eating and eventually not drinking either and I was miserable. I dropped to a dangerous weight, had passed out on a few occasions and was frustrated when doctors didn't understand that I wasn't CHOOSING not to eat, I literally felt that I couldn't. My breaking point was when I had been to the hospital probably four times and I had gone about 5 days without eating or drinking anything and was told my a medical doctor that no test was revealing any medical problem and that I most likely should seek counseling. I wanted to hear a diagnosis and get the magic pill. That didn't come and it was so frustrating. That was the summer I first heard of Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder and Social Anxiety (I'd heard of social anxiety in terms of being nervous around people, but not social anxiety in the mental health sense). I was put on a medication and felt a lot better, but knew I couldn't be on meds forever.
My symptoms continued through my sophomore year, but I was able to manage them as they were not as bad before and at least I KNEW why I felt terrible all the time. I moved to Philadelphia the summer of 2012 and spent almost a month alone every day the first month I was there. I would walk from my apartment a few blocks to Starbucks to use the wifi and sometimes sit there glued to my seat because I felt too nervous to get up and didn't think I could make it to my apartment without crying or throwing up or passing out. My anxiety was relieved some when I started my job and was able to put my focus on a high stress environment where I honestly didn't have the "time" to focus on my anxiety (anyone who has worked for City Year can tell you that you honestly don't have much time for anything BUT City Year). I learned to hide panic attacks very well and to "escape" situations as my job afforded me the luxury of being able to walk out of a room if need be without any question. I had a hard time in Philly for some months, but they became so amazing when I made some awesome friends. I had two people in particular that really helped me focus on work and not on myself as much (I hope they read this and know who they are... I love you and miss our morning commute). My anxiety really took a back seat because I was so focused on so many other people and things I needed to get done, that it was only in privacy or times when I was alone for whole weekends that my anxiety really took the reins.
Eventually, my internship at City Year ended and I was set to have a promising job and was really only concerned with looking for a new apartment for when my lease ended. That job fell through, and then so did every. other. job. I began to worry and especially became worried when money ran out. Not only was time ticking on finding a new apartment, but how was I supposed to live in that new place without a job?! That summer, I spent so much time alone in my apartment searching for jobs and places. I did not have money to buy groceries so I stretched what I had, but even then, felt sick when I ate. I remember getting $25 dollars from my mom for some groceries and I walked the block and a half to Whole Foods and it was the first time I had left my apartment in literally two weeks. I gave myself the pep talk before going in, but the second I walked in my body literally took over and I could feel myself starting to panic. Instead of just walking outside for a few minutes and then returning I grabbed the closest thing to me (two packages of expensive organic strawberries) and ran to the closest register I could. I felt like an idiot when I got home and realized I had bought the most useless food possible.
I would tell my mom about how anxious I was feeling, but didn't want to come home almost daily. It wasn't until I was in the home of a woman I was supposed to begin nannying for (a job that would have put me in an AWESOME situation in Philly) and had one of the worst panic attacks that I had experienced up until that point that I realized my anxiety had reached a point that I no longer felt in control of myself and began to come to terms with the fact that I could no longer handle being on my own anymore. I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I had just had a near seizure in the home of a practical stranger. I no longer felt safe in my own apartment, I no longer felt safe leaving my apartment, I couldn't bear the thought of walking down the street to get food, let alone the thought of speaking to anyone. I returned home to VA July 2013.
My life has changed a LOT in a short amount of time. Literally the summer of 2013 is a blur to me, I saw no one, didn't really leave the house unless I was forced to, had panic attacks almost daily, lost way too much weight, cried every day, etc. I literally felt like I had lost control of my life. Instead of my normal tenacious attitude to pick myself up by my bootstraps and fix it all on my own, I accepted the fact that my life would only go downhill and "this is how it will always be". I'm not out of the woods yet. I experience some amount of anxiety every day. Some days it's just a bit of jitters and uncomfortable feelings in a store or needing to sit down and breathe some, others I'm full blown panicking and stay in my room and don't want to speak to anyone. But, on the other hand, I have made a ton of progress and not on my own! There are so many people who have helped me make goals, keep my head up, think of things in different ways, and keep me sane (literally) I wish I could thank all of those people, but that's not what this post is about :)
I'd now like to take some of the attention off of my "story" and focus now on some symptoms. MANY people have asked me before what a panic attack is, they've heard of them or think they have an idea but want to personally know what it's like to experience a true panic attack.
**A bit of science... a panic attack is, simply put, your body's "fight or flight" response happening out of context. Every single person on earth has experienced the feeling of a huge adrenaline rush in which we are able to accomplish something we normally wouldn't. In the case of real danger, every single one of us will have the rush of adrenaline, the slowing down of thought processes, racing heart beat and rapid breath because it allows our body to do exactly what it is meant to do in the face of danger: fight or run. Now imagine for instance you are walking down a dark, desolate street and realize you are being followed and are going to be killed. Your heart will start beating faster, your breathing will become rapid, almost to hyperventilation, and your thoughts will become a sole focus on survival and escaping the danger in any way you can. NOW, imagine that same feeling while lying in your bed at night and knowing that there is no "real" danger, only danger that is "perceived". It can be an incredibly scary feeling and leave you fearful of it happening again. **
Rather than give you a list of symptoms or feelings, I'd like to take this time to quote the experiences of those I have received permission from to share. My own experiences are mixed in, but the importance is to note the similarities (and differences) but also how scary and detrimental just ONE panic attack can be to the psyche of a person.
I made this post not only to educate but to hopefully open some eyes and hearts about what really happens to some people. It's not about "calming down" or "cheering up". Yes, some people do require more help than others be it meds, therapy, exercise, diet, whatever. But in the end we all want the same things: happiness, success and to feel safe and capable. If you know anyone who has anxiety or any sort of mental illness I encourage you to ask questions in a loving way, become an advocate and offer support and safety for them. No matter how much it might not make sense or how hard it is to relate, the person will be forever grateful to have you in their life. On the other hand, those of us will anxiety or other mental illnesses need to be able to let people in and be those shoulders to lean on. I know from experience that I literally can't do it on my own. Coping isn't about curing yourself or even being cured. There unfortunately is no magic pill that can take these feelings away, but there ARE loving and supportive people out there who want nothing but the best for us! If you are feeling alone, please seek out help in some way or talk to someone you trust as much as you can and use them as an advocate to help you get the assitance you need. The sooner, the better.
I hope by this point some of you are still reading! Although that is a lot of information, it is important to note that a very high population of our country is suffering through a specific form of mental illness, which in turn can lead to other mental illnesses. I in know way can speak for those with other disorders, nor will I rank their severity as I have not experienced them. But I DO know that many of these illnesses can start very early in life and follow us into our elderly lives. They can have a major impact on our interactions with other people, our jobs, our education, our well being and living situations. I would like to use this forum to share my own personal experience (to an extent) with all of you as I feel it can be useful to just learn or possibly to relate. I welcome any questions and feedback. I will also be including quotes from willing friends who shared with me. Please keep an open mind and heart while reading and if anxiety disorders are not something you struggle with, try to put yourself in the shoes (or mind) of others. Lastly, please remember there is a difference between being anxious and anxiety. EVERY person feels anxious at some time or another, but not everyone has an actual anxiety disorder or mental illness.
My experience with anxiety didn't "truly" start until I was in college. I say truly because I believe I had the symptoms and experiences of anxiety previously but did not know that's what I was experiencing until I was much older. Of course I am grateful for the diagnosis, but in some ways, ignorance was "bliss". To begin my journey, I will share the process by which I found out about my anxiety.
I began attending Radford University the fall of 2010. Of course, like almost everyone I know, I was so pumped to be in college and on "my own". I had an awesome roommate (shouts out to Jasey Rae if you're reading!) and a great group of friends as I was very involved with my church at the time. I really began to notice strange behavior or feelings when I realized that I would sometimes be extremely out of breath and absolutely dread going to class for what appeared to be no reason. I remember being in lines and not being able to stand still and anticipating my wait because I really felt the need to sit down, and that I continuously would swallow because I felt panicked and nauseous. I would sometimes pace around my dorm room while my roommate was gone and try to decide what to do and would make deals with myself e.g. If you go to this class, then you can skip your last class and come back and relax. or You're just not a morning person, skip your morning class, take a shower, and everything will be better! I also remember cloudy mornings where I literally couldn't fathom the idea of even trying to get out of bed. My eating habits were so up and down, I would eat the most food I possibly could while alone because I knew that my eating wasn't "normal" and it only got worse around people. *Quick note: I know NOW that my anxiety tends to stem around eating, although I do not struggle with any sort of eating disorder, but I will explain that more later* I believe I did a relatively excellent job at hiding these symptoms of what I now know to be anxiety. I made a lot of excuses as to why I didn't want to answer phone calls, go out to meet new people on campus with my church group, always needed my water bottle no matter what, hated being in cars with people I did not trust to drive, take extremely long naps, etc. In hindsight, the signs and symptoms were all yelling in my face, I just had no idea that all these odd behaviors seemed to link. I remember a specific instance where I felt completely fine one morning and had actually succesfully completed a monologue for one of my theater classes and was walking to my next class and all of a sudden was overcome with the feeling that I was having a heart attack and couldn't breathe and that I was literally going to die right that second. What made it worse was that I was in a very public walking area and sat down on a bench breathing so heavily and sobbing, rocking back and forth, and I felt that my behavior was "crazy" and everyone was most likely staring at me. I know now that I was experiencing a panic attack, but I had never had one that bad previously, so I legitimately was not prepared and had no idea what my body was doing. Instead of going to class, I slowly walked to my dorm, shaking the whole way, got in my bed and couldn't sleep or cry or really do anything. I thought I had just escaped death. Funnily enough, I was STARVING after and ate a ton of food once I felt safe enough to put one foot in front of the other. I spent a lot of time on campus alone as I felt I didn't want people to notice this strange behavior.
Fast forward to the summer after my freshman year of college. Eating became more and more difficult for me as I noticed more and more symptoms. I felt that I could take two bites and feel so full that I was going to vomit if I took one more bite. I would try and felt like I was gagging and I had no idea why. I would go for days without eating and eventually not drinking either and I was miserable. I dropped to a dangerous weight, had passed out on a few occasions and was frustrated when doctors didn't understand that I wasn't CHOOSING not to eat, I literally felt that I couldn't. My breaking point was when I had been to the hospital probably four times and I had gone about 5 days without eating or drinking anything and was told my a medical doctor that no test was revealing any medical problem and that I most likely should seek counseling. I wanted to hear a diagnosis and get the magic pill. That didn't come and it was so frustrating. That was the summer I first heard of Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder and Social Anxiety (I'd heard of social anxiety in terms of being nervous around people, but not social anxiety in the mental health sense). I was put on a medication and felt a lot better, but knew I couldn't be on meds forever.
My symptoms continued through my sophomore year, but I was able to manage them as they were not as bad before and at least I KNEW why I felt terrible all the time. I moved to Philadelphia the summer of 2012 and spent almost a month alone every day the first month I was there. I would walk from my apartment a few blocks to Starbucks to use the wifi and sometimes sit there glued to my seat because I felt too nervous to get up and didn't think I could make it to my apartment without crying or throwing up or passing out. My anxiety was relieved some when I started my job and was able to put my focus on a high stress environment where I honestly didn't have the "time" to focus on my anxiety (anyone who has worked for City Year can tell you that you honestly don't have much time for anything BUT City Year). I learned to hide panic attacks very well and to "escape" situations as my job afforded me the luxury of being able to walk out of a room if need be without any question. I had a hard time in Philly for some months, but they became so amazing when I made some awesome friends. I had two people in particular that really helped me focus on work and not on myself as much (I hope they read this and know who they are... I love you and miss our morning commute). My anxiety really took a back seat because I was so focused on so many other people and things I needed to get done, that it was only in privacy or times when I was alone for whole weekends that my anxiety really took the reins.
Eventually, my internship at City Year ended and I was set to have a promising job and was really only concerned with looking for a new apartment for when my lease ended. That job fell through, and then so did every. other. job. I began to worry and especially became worried when money ran out. Not only was time ticking on finding a new apartment, but how was I supposed to live in that new place without a job?! That summer, I spent so much time alone in my apartment searching for jobs and places. I did not have money to buy groceries so I stretched what I had, but even then, felt sick when I ate. I remember getting $25 dollars from my mom for some groceries and I walked the block and a half to Whole Foods and it was the first time I had left my apartment in literally two weeks. I gave myself the pep talk before going in, but the second I walked in my body literally took over and I could feel myself starting to panic. Instead of just walking outside for a few minutes and then returning I grabbed the closest thing to me (two packages of expensive organic strawberries) and ran to the closest register I could. I felt like an idiot when I got home and realized I had bought the most useless food possible.
I would tell my mom about how anxious I was feeling, but didn't want to come home almost daily. It wasn't until I was in the home of a woman I was supposed to begin nannying for (a job that would have put me in an AWESOME situation in Philly) and had one of the worst panic attacks that I had experienced up until that point that I realized my anxiety had reached a point that I no longer felt in control of myself and began to come to terms with the fact that I could no longer handle being on my own anymore. I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I had just had a near seizure in the home of a practical stranger. I no longer felt safe in my own apartment, I no longer felt safe leaving my apartment, I couldn't bear the thought of walking down the street to get food, let alone the thought of speaking to anyone. I returned home to VA July 2013.
My life has changed a LOT in a short amount of time. Literally the summer of 2013 is a blur to me, I saw no one, didn't really leave the house unless I was forced to, had panic attacks almost daily, lost way too much weight, cried every day, etc. I literally felt like I had lost control of my life. Instead of my normal tenacious attitude to pick myself up by my bootstraps and fix it all on my own, I accepted the fact that my life would only go downhill and "this is how it will always be". I'm not out of the woods yet. I experience some amount of anxiety every day. Some days it's just a bit of jitters and uncomfortable feelings in a store or needing to sit down and breathe some, others I'm full blown panicking and stay in my room and don't want to speak to anyone. But, on the other hand, I have made a ton of progress and not on my own! There are so many people who have helped me make goals, keep my head up, think of things in different ways, and keep me sane (literally) I wish I could thank all of those people, but that's not what this post is about :)
I'd now like to take some of the attention off of my "story" and focus now on some symptoms. MANY people have asked me before what a panic attack is, they've heard of them or think they have an idea but want to personally know what it's like to experience a true panic attack.
**A bit of science... a panic attack is, simply put, your body's "fight or flight" response happening out of context. Every single person on earth has experienced the feeling of a huge adrenaline rush in which we are able to accomplish something we normally wouldn't. In the case of real danger, every single one of us will have the rush of adrenaline, the slowing down of thought processes, racing heart beat and rapid breath because it allows our body to do exactly what it is meant to do in the face of danger: fight or run. Now imagine for instance you are walking down a dark, desolate street and realize you are being followed and are going to be killed. Your heart will start beating faster, your breathing will become rapid, almost to hyperventilation, and your thoughts will become a sole focus on survival and escaping the danger in any way you can. NOW, imagine that same feeling while lying in your bed at night and knowing that there is no "real" danger, only danger that is "perceived". It can be an incredibly scary feeling and leave you fearful of it happening again. **
Rather than give you a list of symptoms or feelings, I'd like to take this time to quote the experiences of those I have received permission from to share. My own experiences are mixed in, but the importance is to note the similarities (and differences) but also how scary and detrimental just ONE panic attack can be to the psyche of a person.
"I can almost always tell I'm about to have a panic attack because my thoughts start not making sense"
"...my heart begins to race and it feels like my chest is so tight. I think I'm having a heart attack..."
"It usually starts with anxious feeling in my stomach and will move it's way up to my chest"
"I feel extreme lightheaded-ness and then pressure in my chest..."
"...my heart begins to race and it feels like my chest is so tight. I think I'm having a heart attack..."
"It usually starts with anxious feeling in my stomach and will move it's way up to my chest"
"I feel extreme lightheaded-ness and then pressure in my chest..."
"I cry so much. I can't help the tears, they just come."
"My limbs lock up and my nails will start digging into my skin, I literally can't unlock my feet and hands."
"I will pace and flail my arms"
"My thoughts race and I can't focus on anything BUT the panic"
"I think of everything negative that's happening and it only intensifies those feelings"
"I don't feel in control of my own body, I feel like I'm losing my mind..."
"It feels like it will never end. I feel like the panic won't ever stop"
"I can't breathe. It starts to hurt after a while..."
"I feel so dizzy"
"I know the things I need to do in order to not panic, but once I get past a certain point, there's no stopping the panic from happening"
"I shut down completely and can't hear what the people around me are saying"
"I feel like my legs will crumble underneath me, but all I want to do is run and run"
"I feel hysterical and crazy"
"I feel crazy"
"I feel crazy"
"I feel like I'm going crazy"
"It's a crazy feeling."
"I think I'm going to die"
"It feels like I'm actually dying"
"I think I'm dying"
"I know logically you can't die from a panic attack, but no matter what I always feel like I'm dying"
"My limbs lock up and my nails will start digging into my skin, I literally can't unlock my feet and hands."
"I will pace and flail my arms"
"My thoughts race and I can't focus on anything BUT the panic"
"I think of everything negative that's happening and it only intensifies those feelings"
"I don't feel in control of my own body, I feel like I'm losing my mind..."
"It feels like it will never end. I feel like the panic won't ever stop"
"I can't breathe. It starts to hurt after a while..."
"I feel so dizzy"
"I know the things I need to do in order to not panic, but once I get past a certain point, there's no stopping the panic from happening"
"I shut down completely and can't hear what the people around me are saying"
"I feel like my legs will crumble underneath me, but all I want to do is run and run"
"I feel hysterical and crazy"
"I feel crazy"
"I feel crazy"
"I feel like I'm going crazy"
"It's a crazy feeling."
"I think I'm going to die"
"It feels like I'm actually dying"
"I think I'm dying"
"I know logically you can't die from a panic attack, but no matter what I always feel like I'm dying"
These examples and quotes may seem to be random or whiney or "irrational" to those who have never experienced any of the above. To those who HAVE they may seem very familiar and even make you laugh. I know for me, seeing the experiences of others and how similar they are to mine help to remind me that I'm NOT actually insane.
At the end of the day, I know that my anxiety isn't magically going to go away, it's a long process with many different opinions on just how to "fix it". It takes strength, courage, and honesty with myself to approach the idea and begin taking the steps I need to overcome my anxiety. My goal is to one day have my anxiety under such control that it is a memory rather than a daily struggle or reminder. I can't do it without the support of those that I love. Special shoutout to my best friend and my boyfriend for sitting with me while I cry or act weird or don't make sense and complain. I couldn't do it without you.
Please leave me a comment or personal message if you have any questions or ever need someone to talk to.
At the end of the day, I know that my anxiety isn't magically going to go away, it's a long process with many different opinions on just how to "fix it". It takes strength, courage, and honesty with myself to approach the idea and begin taking the steps I need to overcome my anxiety. My goal is to one day have my anxiety under such control that it is a memory rather than a daily struggle or reminder. I can't do it without the support of those that I love. Special shoutout to my best friend and my boyfriend for sitting with me while I cry or act weird or don't make sense and complain. I couldn't do it without you.
Please leave me a comment or personal message if you have any questions or ever need someone to talk to.
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