words of wisdom

I hardly would consider myself wise. In all honestly, I'm learning new things, falling on my face, picking up "the pieces" and making mistakes daily. But I do believe that over the course of my life, the last two years in particular, I have learned some valuable lessons, quips, mindsets, whatever you'd like to call them and I thought it would be great to share them with all of you! Some may seem so straight forward but they took me going through hard times, making mistakes, or getting to a low point to realize their value and role they play in my life.

When You Change the Way You Look at Things, the Things You Look at Change

1. If you're not breathing, you aren't living! 

     
      This one is huge for me. As I've mentioned in earlier posts, I struggle with a form of anxiety that causes me to have panic attacks. Sometimes these attacks are a result of a build up of stress. Quite honestly though, a majority of my attacks have been solely brought about because of negative thinking that cycles downward to a point where my mind and body completely take control and I'm left with a negative experience. Breathing has been such a huge "Technique" to help me overcome those "white knuckle" moments as I call them. When I find myself in a negative cycle of thoughts that is starting to make me feel some type of way, I have to remind myself to take a moment, step back, BREATHE (because normally by this point my breath is shallow and I'm beginning to panic) and logically think through what is making me struggle to focus. 

2. Now is now, then is then, that was that. 

      I'm such an over-thinker in literally every sense of the word. I constantly find myself looking back at situations wondering what I could have said, should have done, shouldn't have done, etc until Im upset with myself for not doing things a certain way. On the other hand, I constantly obsess over the future. What will happen, where will I go? What will I be doing? What if I don't have friends, what if I lose a family member? What if I'm homeless?! What if I never figure "my thing" that I'm good at?! What if I'm never happy?!!?! Needless to say, think so far ahead into the future, and dwelling on the past are just not healthy. Yes, it IS healthy to plan things like "well I have X amount of dollars currently and owe X amount in a month so I need to make sure I only spend X amount" that's just logical. But to think 20, 40, 50 years into the future is not. As far as the past... it's already happened. There's literally nothing you or I can do to change that, as unfortunate as that may be. Something that has helped me immensely is to make short term goals. And I mean short term. Things like "I'm going to get my hair cut next week" or "Next month I'm going to make sure that my room is completely organized" When I focus on the here and now, it really leaves no room to obsess or dwell on future or past. Does this mean I don't have dreams and aspirations? Of course not... but I can't tackle them until I get the present in order.





3. Sometimes mistakes really are a blessing in disguise.
      We've all made our fair share of mistakes in life, myself definitely included. It's so cliche to hear these days "learn from your mistakes," but what does that really mean? Does that mean to never do that thing again? Absolutely not. By making a mistake and never getting back up and trying again, that's living by fear, and quite honestly, pride. No one wants to get hurt, or go through hard times, or look foolish, or admit they were wrong. But it's through mistakes we learn what we can and cannot handle, our approaches to situations, our mindsets, and our responses. I've made so many mistakes in the past two years: personally, professionally, relationally, with family, friends, myself. It would be foolish of me to make so many mistakes and never take a look back and see a common trend. While some things are out of our control, I'd venture to say that if you look at a lot of situations surrounding mistakes or hard times... YOU are the common thread. As discouraging as this may sound, it's quite the opposite! If your attitude, thoughts, actions, etc have been leading you toward making mistakes, that means YOU have the control to lead yourself out of those mistakes and allow them to be a teaching moment rather than a pity party.



4. Positivity goes a long way.
      After circumstances of my moving back to VA in the beginning of July, I resigned myself that this time around, being back at home in the 757 I was going to be POSITIVE. Last year I was such a bummer and so in my head about everything that I accomplished very little. I made it a goal to do something positive every day. Some days those positive things are bigger, sometimes they are smaller (taking a bath to relax). But I have to be honest when I say even the attitude change of "I'm going to make the most of my time here, and when the time comes to leave, I will be ready" has already had such a profound impact on my life. I feel my relationships with my parents have gotten better, I've met and become closer to new people, I stepped out of my comfort zone and landed an amazing job at an awesome yoga studio, and in general, I've felt so much "lighter." Do I have bad days? Of course. But those bad days aren't detrimental or such a big knock out like they used to be because I know that it is only temporary and that I can do something positive the next day. I'd encourage anyone who has trouble  remaining positive, or who has a lot of negative thoughts in their head to try a process called "thought stopping" it's a super effective technique. Also, as cheesy as it sounds, place affirmations around your room, in your wallet, wherever, to remind you to be positive. It's up to you what you write or are inspired by, but I promise, positivity goes such a long way. 

5. Listen to your body
   This lesson is short and sweet, but very important to me. A lot of times, tension we feel is a direct result of our thoughts. If you are constantly stressed, worried, angry, anxious, upset, sad, lonely, etc... your body will respond with a lot of tension, soreness, fatigue, tightness, and sometimes less pleasant things internally... but we won't go into those. What I'm getting at: listen to your body. If you're constantly feeling these body symptoms, they most likely are a direct result of your mind. Now, I'm not a medical doctor so if you are having legitimate pain and think you are sick, you need to respond accordingly. But, I'd encourage you to observe your body and then your thoughts accordingly. You'd be surprised how changing your thoughts can actually change the way your body feels! 

There are so many more things I could write about but those are the paramount thoughts for now. I might write a part two as more thoughts or lessons come to mind. I encourage any feedback (public or private) and I'm always here to talk to anyone who needs an ear :) love love love 

Namaste!